We love finding wacky things on the internet to share with you and this one definitely makes the cut. Phoenix New Times added this super weird new clock (similar to the National Debt Clock) to their website showing just how long Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been under investigation by the Feds. Along with the ticker, an archive of the many shameless shameful tales of Sheriff Joe. Very clever, New Times.

Call it the house that classified ads (and Sheriff Joe bashing) built. Yes, sources tell us that the owner of this sleek-yet-woodsy abode featuring million dollar views of the Phoenix skyline is none other than Michael Lacey, the famously hard-nosed editor/co-owner of the Phoenix New Times.

Perched on a rocky rise straddling the Paradise Valley-Phoenix border, this custom manse appears to be at least a $1-2M project. Which, crazy as it sounds, is just a drop in the bucket compared to the approximately $22M in fines Lacey and his Village Voice Media just paid out following a bitter court battle with a rival paper in San Francisco, in what media pundits are calling the Last Great Newspaper War.

After the jump, take in a full slideshow of what 40 years of sticking it to the man will buy you. Plus, learn a little more about how Lacey, an ASU dropout and self-described ‘foul-mouthed son of a sailor,‘ transformed a single newspaper into the nation’s largest chain of ‘alt-weeklies’ once valued at $400M. All while giving away his products away for free.

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Don’t wanna star in Sheriff Joe’s stupid new Reality TV show? Get your drunk ass self home safely (and freely) with Valley-based Discount Cab, who is offering patrons a “Free Ride Back” St. Patrick’s Day. Don’t be like one of the 18,000 Arizona drivers cited for DUIs last year, and simply order up a cab while you’re out and about this evening/tomorrow morning. Then call again in the morning, and they’ll send over one of these (surprisingly clean, not smell) green machines to drive you back to your car the next day free of charge, no questions asked.

If you were thinking about heading to Yuma over the holiday (anyone?, Bueller?) you might want to skip that swim in the canal. That’s because Arizona Game and Fish officials just discovered a second shark swimming in the city’s main irrigation canal. Yes, two sharks.

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Quick: What do Lou Ferrigno and Steven Seagal have in common? Well, aside from being washed up action stars (Ferrigno was TV’s original Incredible Hulk, Segal cranked out chop-socky flicks in the late 80s), both are coming soon to desert near you. Yes, these publicity-starved patriots have joined forces with the gimmicky PR maestro, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, to join his gimmicky “Immigration Posse.”

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Jailed rap-star, DMX is keeping busy while spending time inside Sheriff Joe’s Motel. According to the BBC, he’s filed a lawsuit against the company he hired to collect royalty payments on his records.

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