Welcome back the The Arts of the Bachelor. (You know, like Bachelor of the Arts?) Plucked from Twitter, the great equalizer, Nathan Simpson is snarky, womanizing and a bit of a button-pusher. In other words, he’s the perfect person to document the trials and tribulations of his love affair with the world’s most (un)hip suburb. Check back the second Wednesday of every month for his musings…
One week from the posting of this column, I will be turning 30. I know that this is a big deal because of that episode of Friends where Rachel turns 30 and the whole gang tries to make her feel better by recanting stories of their own 30th birthdays. I can usually count on my Friends: Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe to make me feel better about my life. They went through everything I go through (only with more money and better hair), yet they always made it through in an amusing and that 90s kind of way. They failed me this time, but it’s not their fault. I’m probably just inconsolable. I mean, I cried when I turned 20. It really doesn’t help that KOOL 94.5 is playing the biggest songs of 1980 (the year before I was born) right now. Yeah, ON THE OLDIES STATION.
I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be at 30. Hey mom, if you’re reading this, maybe when you asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said “rich” you could have mentioned that usually involves a lot of work. Just a thought.