Arizona: We’re Number 1

August 26, 2011 | 1:47 PM | Local | By Staff

Ouch, this hurts.  Gawker has just completed their “Ranking The USA” feature and it looks like we have ended up on top or in this case, the bottom.  Tell us what you think readers?

Says, Gawker:

The Good: Arizona has lots of natural beauty, from the dizzying Grand Canyon to, well, the areas immediately outside the Grand Canyon (Kaibab represent). That’s about it. Well, OK, Flagstaff has its moments.
The Bad: First off, it’s the middle of the goddamned desert so why is everyone there? Why is Phoenix? Ecological catastrophes, the twin brown stars of Phoenix and Scottsdale are insanely destructive, places so hot that they have mist sprayers everywhere even though there is no water there. Dreadful! The sheriff of the area is an insane lunatic cowboy wannabe who rules the town like Gene Hackman in the The Quick and the Dead. Alabama’s batshit immigration law was inspired by Arizona’s own SB 1070, a racist and xenophobic piece of legislation representative of Arizona’s roiling immigration crisis that was signed into law by the state’s governor Jan Brewer, a perky-eyed psychopath who speaks in tongues. Arizona is swiftly devolving into a dystopic free-for-all of armed mad men patrolling the state with guns, often to disastrous effect. (As witnessed in the Gaby Giffords incident — though, c’mon, you can’t blame Arizona for Jared Loughner any more than you can blame Colorado for Columbine.) Arizona is a hissing snakepit of angry old white people (they are angry because they are literally being cooked to death) yelling at the immigrants and other Others whom they fear and loathe, and it is probably going to explode someday soon into a bright ball of orange fire and we will know that either the end times have come for us all or thank god we are finally rid of Arizona.
Final Score: 2.76

    

2 Comments

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