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In the least shocking news story of the year, the hilariously-outrageous food blogger, Eric Eats Out, was tossed from the set of News Channel 12′s fancy new studio in Downtown Phoenix late last week. So what outrageous on-air f-bomb did he drop to get himself escorted off the property?

He joked that he was going to earn the station an FCC fine, in a Tweet, the day before his appearance, and added the hashtag #wardrobemalfunction. Which was enough, apparently, to draw the ire of the corporate suits up on the ninth floor, who sent a producer down to personally yank him out of the pre-show green room (pictured), and have security hustle him out of the building.

Way to not overreact, News Channel 12 producers. That’s the sort of forward thinking that led your parent company to mothball your longtime HQ, cram you into the bottom floor of the AZ Republic building, and try to spin it as ‘creating corporate synergy.’

But why would we try to tell this surreal tale, when we can just let Eric get on his soapbox? And be warned, we did not edit one filthy-funny word.

“Yesterday I was asked to leave the studios of KPNX, our local NBC affiliate (owned by Gannett), a few moments before going live on a program called “Valley Dish.” I’m going to use my own little corner of The Interwebs to tell my side of the story which, thus far, has been limited to witty quips of 140 characters or less on Twitter.

Long story short: I judged the “Best Healthy Entrée” contest on Valley Dish a few months ago. I was funny. I brought bacon and butter with me. It made Tram laugh. It made everyone in the studio laugh. It was good television. And so they asked me to come back.

Mind you, I wasn’t funny in an Eddie Murphy kind of way. I never said “fuck.” Or “cocksucker.” Or even “motherfuckingcocksucker.” It was G-rated, as it should be for daytime television on a broadcast network.

At 7:18 pm on April 20, I tweeted the following:

“I will be on @ValleyDish tomorrow.  Watch me get @tram_mai her first FCC fine. #wardrobemalfunction”

It was innocent, unless you’re of the same mindset as a TSA agent who decides to pat-down a 6 year old white girl because you’re concerned she might be a jihadist. But I understand that the FCC is what gives Channel 12 its right to broadcast, and that spineless corporate sell-outs don’t take jokes about the FCC very lightly. Never mind the fact that the news routinely tells of rape, murder, and deviant behavior. Or that primetime television glamorizes sex, violence and drugs. That EricEatsOut guy is dangerous. Really. Fucking. Dangerous.

12 News' snazzy new studio is actually just carved out of all the spare space inside the AZ Republic's HQ, aka Gannett's other struggling news organization

So, when I arrived at the studio they had me sign a waiver. I gladly signed it, and made a point of initialing every provision of the waiver, even though I wasn’t asked to do so. I wanted to make sure that they knew I was serious about my responsibilities and obligations, and didn’t take lightly the opportunity to be part of their broadcast. In fact, as a business person it is my opinion that every guest they have on the show should have to sign a waiver although, oddly, they didn’t ask me to sign one the first time I did the show.

I then went into the studio, got mic’d up, and was ready to go. I gave Tram a hug, and apologized profusely for any stress that my tweet may have caused. For the record: Tram Mai and her producer Cassie are exceptionally kind and gracious. They are funny and talented.  Gannett is lucky to have them. This situation is not even remotely reflective of them. It’s all about the ninth floor.

Approximately 10 minutes before we went live Stacy, a mousey executive producer who was tragically born without a sense of humor, came downstairs from the rarified air of the ninth floor, and had one of the studio staff tell me that they wanted me to leave. Immediately. I explained to Stacy, in a subdued and polite tone, that if she ever read my blog then she would realize that my tone is irreverent. It isn’t for everybody, and it isn’t designed to be. And I explained that I gladly signed the waiver and even made a point to initial each provision so as to assuage any concerns they had. She told me to leave. So I took off my microphone and left the studio, through the lobby, out to the sidewalk all under the watchful eye of Gannett staff who, apparently, wanted to make sure that I didn’t cause a scene.

If they had concerns about my tweet, which was made a day BEFORE the show, then why did they wait until 10 minutes before the show to ask me to leave? It would have saved me three hours that I took out of my day to do their show for free. Hey Stacy, how about an apology? Is your time more valuable than mine?

And, really, let’s face it: couldn’t they infer from the name of my blog that it might be slightly irreverent?  Eric Eats Out.  Oh, wait, maybe Stacy doesn’t get it because, well, she probably hasn’t had that done to her in a long, long time.  One would have to first get through the cobwebs.

Above all, this incident proves one thing to me: “Traditional Media People” still just don’t get it. If it takes 18 hours to react to a 140 character tweet, then they’ve missed the boat completely. In fact, one of the producers even said “I really don’t understand Twitter.” Well that’s obvious, isn’t it? Get on board, folks, because your high-value demographic isn’t getting its news from The Arizona Republic (also owned by Gannett) or the evening news. They’re getting it from other sources of media … the ones that were referred to as “New Media” back in the early 1990s. You know, the thing the execs at Gannett still probably refer to as “The World Wide Web.”

Would I have done something to garner an FCC fine? Absolutely not. Last time I checked, I wasn’t Janet Jackson and didn’t have the financial means to pay the FCC for an on-air wardrobe malfunction. Didn’t I prove that the last time I was on the show? And isn’t that why I was asked back?

Don't blame 12 News host Tram Mai for the FCC foofaraw, Eric says.

Most importantly, I sincerely apologize to Tram, her studio team and the two “Best Sandwich” competitors on the show for any stress this episode may have caused for them. Please check them out at www.smartkitchen.com and www.twitter.com/buzzcation.

I realize that there are always at least two sides to every story. Having heard my side, what do you think? And don’t worry, we’re not on Channel 12, so you can feel free to use works like: fuck, douchebag, cocksucker, felch, fellatio, blow job, pussy, pussylicker, cum, jizz, skeet skeet, samoan piledriver, two-fingered mexican oil change, kennebunkport surprise, and cunt.

But, please, don’t offend anyone.

XOXO

Eric”

12 News exterior image via

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