It’s official. Two of the most annoying, blowhardiest people on earth are filming a reality TV show together here in Phoenix. Yes, the walking/talking PR stunt, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, has teamed up with the washed up action star, Steven Seagal, to film season three of Seagal’s hit TV show, “Lawman” here in Maricopa County.
Seagal, who’s already a member of Joe’s completely phony Civilian Posse, announced in a press release that, “I have a lot of friends in the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, so when Sheriff Joe Arpaio invited me to join them, there wasn’t a moment’s hesitation … now that I live there, I want to help the Sheriff fight [crime] the best way I know how. It’s an honor to serve.”
Which sounds great and all, except that according to media reports, Seagal’s move has a lot more to do with skeevy lawsuits and a staff of “young female Russian ‘Attendants’ available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
First, here are few more gems from the A&E network’s official press release about Segal and the Sheriff’s collaboration:
“A&E’s hit series “Steven Seagal Lawman” is going back into production for a third season, chronicling martial arts expert and international film star Steven Seagal’s extraordinary life in law enforcement, this time in Maricopa County, Arizona. In the new season, Seagal has joined up with the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office and will execute outstanding arrest warrants, respond to emergency situations, work with the narcotics unit, and much more.
“Mr. Seagal has been on this horse before so to speak and will be an asset to this fine organization,” says Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “We look forward to working with him. We’re a little unusual here, which should make things pretty interesting.”
Sounds like some serious so-bad-its-good potential here. And much better than the Valley’s last attempt at Reality TV, Sunset Daze, which followed a bunch of Sun City retirees around as they danced on stripper poles and talked sex toys. Please hold on while we go toss our cookies.
OK, so let’s discuss what really inspired Seagal to bring his talents to our fair city. According to the Phoenix New Times, “Seagal’s cop show was given the boot last year by [a Louisiana Sheriff], after Seagal was accused of sexual harassment, trafficking in women for sex, and wrongful termination in a civil complaint filed by a former swimsuit model named Kayden Nguyen.
The suit was ultimately dismissed, but not before nuggets like this were reported by TMZ.com and other outlets: ‘Mr. Seagal had been keeping two young female Russian ‘Attendants’ on staff who were available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.'”
Russian, huh? Better hope they weren’t illegals.