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Another year has come and gone, and it’s time to make amends for my wrongdoings and make some plans for 2011. So, if you would indulge me for a moment, I’d like to say the following:

To Chef Christopher Gross: I’m sorry that we had a public spat a while back regarding my 2008 review of Christopher’s Restaurant and Crush Lounge. I’ll be more careful with my words, and I learned a lesson. I stand by the experience I had on that particular night, but have no doubt about your culinary talents. You, among a select few, are responsible for raising the bar of the Phoenix culinary scene in the past 20 years. Moreover, you have been incredibly gracious to me and I’m proud to now call you a “friend.” P.S. Can I borrow your Ducati?

To El Chorro Lodge: I hope you get your act together. You are both blessed and burdened with the responsibility of maintaining the legacy of an Arizona tradition. I may have bashed you in my review, but I truly want to love you. Make your food as amazing as the views from your patio. Some changes have already begun, which is great. I’m coming back, and want to espouse your virtues. I’m not the only one that thinks your sticky buns aren’t as great as they used to be.

To James Porter (Petite Maison), Pavle Milic (FnB), Josh Hebert (POSH) and Eliot Wexler (noca): All four of you have become my friends because of your restaurants. I admire your amazing dedication, sacrifice and commitment to excellence. I’d trust you with my kids, if I had to. Thanks for continually inspiring me, teaching me, and fighting the good fight. Just stay away from my daughter.

To My Fellow Phoenix Foodniks: Bloggers, like you and me, have become a thorn in the restaurant industry’s side and this is not necessarily a good thing. Restaurants are now going out of their way to host special “blogger events” to get us to warm-up to them, and all that does is detract from what little credibility we have. Everything tastes better when it’s free. How many times have you been to a wedding and walked out saying “at least we got a free dinner?” We’re all somewhat guilty, but let’s raise the bar.

And looking forward to 2011 …

To the City of Scottsdale: You really blew it by not signing-on to the light rail project. Momentum in the food scene has moved towards central Phoenix and, frankly, I’m pissed-off about it. Quit isolating yourself from the rest of the metropolitan area. Scottsdale’s slogan went from being “The West’s Most Western Town” to “We Drive Nice Cars and Have Large Implants” and, as a result, downtown Scottsdale has become ground zero for douchebaggery. Can this be fixed? Work on it.

To Chef Bernie Kantak: See comment above regarding the City of Scottsdale. I was never a huge Cowboy Ciao fan, but love the notion of your upcoming venture called “Citizen Public House.” Keep your eye on the ball; I’m looking forward to this one.

To Justin Beckett of Beckett’s Table: I’m withholding my review of Beckett’s Table because I visited on your third day and left slightly underwhelmed. I’m glad you left the superficiality of Canal for the neighborhood vibe of Beckett’s Table. You did a beautiful job with the renovation and have created a menu that has something for everyone. Like El Chorro, I really want to love you but it just isn’t quite there yet. Show us what you’ve got; you can be neighborhood dining and destination dining.

To Joe Johnston: PLEASE venture outside of the East Valley. Rescue us from the bonds of oppression. Open a Liberty Market someplace else and prove to the people outside the East Valley that one doesn’t have to put up with the snootiness and parking lot nonsense of La Grande Orange to enjoy a great neighborhood hang-out.

To Desert Living Today: I cannot believe that you suckers fell for the idea of letting me write whatever I want in this column. When you employ the services of a writer like me, it’s no surprise that journalism is a dying art. While I appreciate the use of your private jet, Dawson Fearnow’s Lamborghini and the endless parade of “escorts” that you send to my home, please understand that I’m a happily married man and all I really want is some traffic to my blog.

Cheers for a 2011 full of health, happiness and great food. Thanks for reading.

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